


i think i know a little bit about myself now

by rose_petrichor



Series: ygtb songfics [1]
Category: YG Treasure Box (TV)
Genre: @ yg let mashi debut, Alternate Universe - College/University, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, My First AO3 Post, a short anxiety attack, all the mashikyu content is sad so i wrote a fluffy au, also its a song fic !, and uh dodam if you squint, based off of palette by iu and g-dragon, but its not detailed so, for context, i also don't know how college works, i didn't directly say who yedam's boyf was so idk, junkyu's an art major and mashi's a photography major, lapslock, what even is tagging lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 07:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17576633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_petrichor/pseuds/rose_petrichor
Summary: (read tags !)when they finally pull apart, they’re both breathless. as junkyu looks into mashiho's eyes, he finally has a name for the one unidentifiable emotion, love.





	i think i know a little bit about myself now

**Author's Note:**

> whoo, im finally posting here  
> so this was originally written for my ocs so personalities are weird  
> i read all the ygtb content so i wrote my own lmao  
> and also all the mashikyu content was sad stuff about mashi not debuting so i wrote cute fluff to cheer y'all up  
> i may do a songfic for dodam as well, maybe good to me by seventeen? idk  
> also mashi is gonna have weird hair colors bc plot  
> but yeah enjoy this

_strangely, these days_ __  
_i like things easy_ __  
__  
__  
__  
even breaths left his lips, which were red from the constant biting. he looked at the room, eyes surveying the place he would be calling home for the next year. while he waited for his roommate, he started to put his things away, claiming the left side of the room.  
  
  
  
after twenty minutes, the door opened again. a boy with pastel pink hair came in, a smile gracing his features. maybe this year wouldn't be too bad.  
__  
__  
__  
_but still, i like corinne's music_ __  
__  
__  
__  
the familiar sound of a record player starting up calmed him. he put the vinyl in and let the slow music startup. mashiho (the boy with the pink hair), his smile seemed to grow and, almost as if he knew what junkyu was gonna put on, he muttered something under his breath that sounded similar to ‘ _of course_ you _would like this.’_  
  
  
  
junkyu allowed himself to hum along to the song, the faint of a smile playing at his lips. just another day in the dorm. __  
__  
__  
__  
_rather than hot pink, i like a deep purple_ __  
__  
__  
__  
“what do you think,” he asks, running tentative a hand through his, now purple, hair. “i like it,” junkyu answers, gathering his thoughts before he speaks because all he wants to do is run his hands through mashiho's hair and tell him how pretty he looks all the time. “i think it suits you, it draws a lot of attention to your eyes. the pink was nice but, it kinda drowned you out. this is a lot better.” by this point, junkyu was sure his face was flushed and he wouldn't be surprised if mashiho heard his heart beating out of his chest. “really? thank you!” __  
__  
__  
__  
there it was. that glint in his eyes, that tone in his voice. the one that junkyu had no name for, if not for him observing the other so precariously, there would have been no way of even noticing it. but yet, here he was, observing each detail of his best friend. __  
__  
__  
__  
_i also like pajamas, with buttons and lipstick_ __  
_these are jokes_ __  
__  
__  
__  
christmas rolled around faster than either of them had imagined, neither of them had planned on going back home, for mashiho said that flying home was too expensive and well, let's just say, junkyu's home life wasn't the best after he came out. they instead would spend the holiday with each other in their dorm room. “hey,” mashiho starts off, “this is kinda stupid but my friends from back home would always put on those really cringey and tacky pajamas, like the button up ones, i was just wondering if you would be fine with doing that too. of course, you don’t have to if you don’t want-”  
  
  
  
junkyu cut him off, “it’s fine, i say we go out and find the most disgusting ones we can find, what do ya say?”  
  
  
so, here they were, three hours later sitting around in some matching _elf on the shelf_ pajamas, laughing at how ridiculous the other looked. __  
__  
  
_i like things a little outdated_

 

“this is so old,” mashiho draws out, “you still listen to things like this? god, it's like being friends with my grandpa.” junkyu just smiles and shakes his head, “it’s not even bad music, you’re just weird.”

“mhm, sure, whatever you say kyu. we both know that my music taste is better.”

“all you listen to is beyoncé!”

“exactly! it’s better than the crap you listen to.”

“sure, sure” junkyu sighed, knowing that he would never be able to win the fight. not that he really minded it all that much. even if he knew that he was right and it was a stupid argument, he would still let mashiho win the fight.

 

_rather than pictures, i like filled_

_palettes, diaries, times i was asleep_

 

junkyu's eyes flickered up to the pictures hanging up on mashiho's side of the room, hoping to draw inspiration from the images. he had a project due in three days and this art block was not doing him any good. mashiho was a photography major, he was bound to have something that would strike some sort of motivation in junkyu.

 

he let out a sigh, before flipping to the last page in his sketchbook and starting a new sketch.

 

by the time mashiho had found him, junkyu had fallen asleep on his desk, a pencil still in his hand.

 

_everything’s hard ‘cause you’re young_

 

_3:19_

the clock reads as junkyu lets out another uneven breath, his fingers pulling tightly on the roots of his hair. he feels a pair of hands slowly guiding his hands out of his hair.

 

_3:36_

both boys had fallen asleep, wrapped up in each other's embrace

 

_happiness is just momentary_

 

he lets his eyes drift shut, figuring that the lecture wasn’t all that important, if it was needed, he would just get the notes from someone else in the class.

 

“kyu? are you okay?” yedam asks.

“yeah, i’m fine, just didn’t sleep too well last night,” junkyu states feigning a smile to make it seem like he truly was fine and wasn’t up at three am because of a panic attack.

“here are the notes that you missed,” yedam says, handing him a sheet of paper, “give them back to me by friday,” he announces, already walking towards his boyfriend, who was waiting outside the class for him. junkyu feels his smile drop.

 

_when i’m just me_

_i shine the brightest_

_so don’t get scared when the darkness comes_

 

“hey,” junkyu greets mashiho as he enters. mashiho simply nods and shuffles over to his bed before planting himself on it. “rough day?”

“yeah,” mashiho answers, propping himself up on his elbows, “i have a stupid assignment due next week and i have a subject in mind but i don't know how to ask them.”

“what's the theme?”

“a person or object you love.”

junkyu sucks in a breath, mashiho had his eyes on someone, of course. and there was no doubt in junkyu's mind that they loved mashiho back, who wouldn't?

“maybe don't tell them the theme? say it's some other theme.”

“can't, they already know the theme,” mashiho sighs.

“can you take a candid shot of them?”

“i could but, i also want to confess to them through this”

more shaky breaths leave junkyu's lips.

“take the photo then tell them after,” he states, licking his lips before continuing, “that way it's not as difficult?”

“yeah, i'll do that,” he lays back down, “thanks kyu.”

 

_you're so beautiful that your flower will bloom,_

_you're always loved, you_

 

as junkyu moves to pick up his eraser, he sees a camera flash. his eyes dart over to mashiho, where the boy is smiling, looking at his camera with fond eyes.

“hey, kyu.”

“hmm?”

“you’re my muse, you know that, right?”

junkyu stays silent. mashiho looks up.

“that person i had in mind was you, it was always you,” he visibly swallows, “i know you probably don’t feel the same but, as i said, i’m using this project as a confession.”

he looks down again, “i’m sorry for not telling you sooner and i understand if you don’t wanna be friends anymore.”

junkyu gets off his chair, walking over to the boy sitting on the bed. he brushed a strand of hair behind mashiho's ear, tracing his hand down his jaw and tilting his chin up.

“you’d be an idiot if you think that i wouldn’t drop everything for you mashi.”

junkyu leans in and, after what feels like an eternity, their lips meet. it’s not fireworks like all the books make it out to be, instead there’s just a warmth that spreads through him as their lips slowly melt into one. when they finally pull apart, they’re both breathless. as junkyu looks into mashiho's eyes, he finally has a name for the one unidentifiable emotion, love.

 

_i got this, i’m truly fine_

_i think i know a little bit about myself now_

 

“mashi,” junkyu draws out, whining, “get back here i’m cold.”

mashiho lets out a laugh before walking over to his boyfriend, placing a kiss on the corner of his lips.

“i know you want me to stay but, i have to go to class.”

“you could always skip.”

“i’ve got a test today, i’ll be right back though, you won’t even know i’m gone okay. just go back to sleep, i’ll be there when you wake up.”

junkyu nods, letting out a sleepy goodbye.

 

mashiho kept his promise, as when junkyu woke up at 10 for his lecture, mashiho had crawled back into bed and fallen asleep again.

 

_~end~_

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this !
> 
> contact me !
> 
> twitter: @ rose_petrichor  
> insta: @ rose.petrichor  
> art insta: @ golden.__.roses  
> feel free to contact me, i'm always up for more ibfs !


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